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  peetpachuli
 
09:01am 19/12/2009  
  I saw the way she looked at me.
and I knew just how she felt.
 
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no subject
  _polly_styrene
 
03:53am 16/12/2009  
 
mood: drunk
Today's events included second jobs, christmas shopping, funny noises coming from a car, domestic abuse, being scared, getting drunk, seemingly choking cats, getting high, and vomit on the floor.

And that may or may not be all done by me.
 
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no subject
  _polly_styrene
 
02:17pm 13/12/2009  
 
mood: hungry
Semester's over. I managed to make a C in History and a B in German. Yay.
 
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no subject
  peetpachuli
 
12:24pm 08/12/2009  
  I do have to admit it's getting better  
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no subject
  _polly_styrene
 
10:27pm 07/12/2009  
 
mood: cheerful
music: LAHV LAHV LAHV
Today I had my finals for German and History. I got an 89.9 on my German final, which shocked me because I was pretty sure I was going to fail. But oh well. And I'm pretty sure I did pretty well on my History final. Yay! Now I'll be able to take classes next semester instead of being suspended D:

Also, I'm going to Germany for Xmas (idk if I mentioned it), and I'm hella excited.

I'm broke as usual, but at least now I have a washer and dryer in my apartment.

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This shiny building of a man is coming to Dallas in February and I for sureeee have to go. I just hope I have enough money to pay for tickets. <333333
 
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no subject
  peetpachuli
 
02:47pm 07/12/2009  
  Do you think maybe people sell me stuff cause they see my weakness.  
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Dirty Salemen
  peetpachuli
 
02:23pm 07/12/2009  
  It's a sales demon that comes into your life and sells you all these ideas.
Ideas that your life could be better if you didn't have things and had other things and looked different and acted different.
It sounds like a magical life cure.
It sells.
You test drive it and after awhile you notice it's an illusion and out the window is the same salesman selling a cheap trick to the next person.
You realize that the old car you originally had was the best car in the world.
The most dependable.
Purely the most beautiful.

It seems pretty morbid to associate people with cars, but it's the only similar example I can find.

I can't stop listening to Lily Allen-Little Things.
It is the best representation of how I feel.
 
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no subject
  peetpachuli
 
01:11pm 07/12/2009  
 
mood: nauseated
When does it get better?
In life, It never goes away.
I hate myself for losing you.
I blame myself for hurting you.
I have turned into everything that I hate.
I look back in my journal and see that.
I turned myself into this monster to protect myself from monsters.
Only to find out all monsters believe in darwinism.
They are cannibals.
All of them.

I don't want anyone.
If I can choose, it's only you.
 
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It could be worse, you could be me.
  peetpachuli
 
10:01pm 06/12/2009  
  How quickly your visions of life change into illusion.
It is all a dream.
It's living life in REM.
The things that you care about are absent, and you have to start all over again.
It is horrible.
To have to recycle myself.
I am learning everyday by my mistakes.
Aren't I entitled to my fair share of mistakes?
I deserve every fucking bit of what I'm feeling right now.
I deserve to be stoned and beaten.
I am entitled to my fair share of beatings.
I have erased my life completely and this is what's left.
A MIRAGE.

Want to know something?
I lost my soulmate today.
My birthday is in two days and I don't have friends anymore.
I took off work this whole week, so I could go on a trip.
I deserve to be alone.
 
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